A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. – Laozi

There has been a renaissance in personal development. There are hundreds of modalities to choose from, each with a wide selection of resources you can read for free.

As you stare into this beautiful garden with its many pathways, there’s always a question: which is the right way for you?

Here’s the secret: there is no “right way,” only the path you’re on. This might not be the one that leads to your destination, but it still has things to teach you on your way.

Sometimes you can only go so far with a modality, but even turning around and starting from scratch can lead to wisdom. You just have to brave enough to look around you and see where you’ve landed.

1. How to tell when something isn’t right for you

This is one of the most challenging and important lessons we can ever learn.

The culture around us doesn’t want us to hear this. It tells us that stopping is failure and that someone must be at fault. Either it’s us, and we just haven’t worked hard enough, or it’s the modality itself, in which case it must be a “fraud.”

Sometimes both of these things are true, but more often neither is.

Personal development is just that: personal.

The multitude of modalities doesn’t exist because only one way will lead to success, but because each of us needs to follow our own path there.

Listen to yourself: how does it feel to walk this path? Does it inspire you even as it challenges you? Or is part of you saying, over and over again, that this is not something which feeds your spirit?

If you find yourself struggling to tell the difference, sometimes that’s an answer in and of itself.

2. How to acknowledge an ending 

Depending on how long you’ve spent on a path, moving on from it can bring up a wide range of emotions.

You may feel frustrated: “I’m so done with all that stuff.”

You may feel sad or alone: “They are a great bunch of people,” or “What am I going to do with those free evenings?”

You might even feel anger: “I can’t believe I spent so much time on that” - either towards yourself or others.

lessons you can learn and that maybe it’s time for something new.

It’s important to be kind to yourself at this stage. Think of it as a no-fault divorce; even if everything is amicable when it ends, it’s bound to be emotional.

What you do with those emotions is what will set the stage for understanding and wisdom. Many things will end in your life – what is your natural reaction to this? What is the response you desire and is it possible or healthy?

For some people, a small ritual can help to mark the end of this particular journey. It might just be passing on your books to someone new, or writing out your final thoughts on where this modality took you to, or perhaps revisiting your journals and special places there along the way. When you reflect on the time you have spent, make sure it honours the time and energy you’ve spent where you were.

3. The wisdom you take with you

Every journey teaches us something.

Before you set out on your last spiritual adventure, some part of it appealed to you. Even if the techniques and practices you’ve learned aren’t a good fit, there’s no reason to leave behind everything you’ve found.

An idea, a prayer, a quote, a skill: whatever remains true deserves to be brought along on your next adventure.

Truth doesn’t belong to one modality, after all.

Nobody will come to scold you for recognizing truth where you found it.

If you keep a journal (or a Pinterest account, or a blog), it might be a good idea to record the things you want to keep. You won’t be returning to their source as often, so it could be easy to forget them.

It’s also possible that one day you'll go back to this path, having grown into a place where it suddenly opens up for you. By retaining some of what you’ve learned, you might be allowing synchronicity room in your life.

4. What you learn about yourself

Finding our way in life is a process.

So is discovering the modalities which work for us.

Even if you take nothing else away from the modality you’re leaving behind, you’ve still learned something important: Today this is not your way.

What parts of this path did nothing for you? Which were pointlessly complicated, and which were challenging while still being life-affirming?

Have you stopped walking this path?

This lesson is crucial if you want to avoid cycling through modalities, finding none which work for you.

It might be that the very thing which attracted you to this path in the first place is the part of it which makes it "wrong" for you. If you avoid learning from where you’ve been, the same thing can happen again and again.

Be gentle with yourself. Accept your limitations. Acknowledge your skills.

5. How to start again

Zen Buddhism teaches a concept called shoshin, or “beginner’s mind.”

The goal is to stay within this mindset no matter how much you know, but there’s no question that it’s easier to remain with than to return to.

Starting again gives you a choice: are you a river being directed through a canyon? Or are you in beginner’s mind, a spring emerging on a beautiful plain with nothing but truth to shape your path?

Embrace this change in your modality as a blessing. Be curious and brave, and stay supple; this is not the time to cling to your old habits and experiences.

This is your chance to begin again.

Take it. Jump into it with both feet.

Just don’t forget what you’ve learned along the way.